I feel like as children we learn/are told to say sorry and to accept someone else’s apology but do we truly understand and know the power of forgiveness? Do we know how to forgive and really let go of the reason someone needed to say I am sorry to begin with?
This is a hard topic for most people including myself. I have both a brother and a sister so I learned how to say sorry at an early age and what it meant to be apologized to as well. We are taught that when someone says I am sorry that we are suppose to forgive them and things then go back to the way they were. I feel like as children with the smaller things this is the case and we move on to playing and having fun again, but, as we get older we begin to hold onto the things that are done to us even when an apology is said. We develop the forgive but never forget mentality. I feel that part of this belief is because we are afraid of the same thing happening again and we feel if we don’t forget we can protect ourselves. While we can say sorry and move on how does the person being apologized to really feel and are they able to move on? Do you think that every time we have to forgive someone or something in our life that we use this as a reason to build a wall of protection up around us? I feel that is what we do or at least I have done, especially when we have that I forgive but don’t forget mentality. I have had some pretty large and heavily padded walls up for a very long time.
I am learning, as I grow into the person I am meant to be, that I can accept an apology all day long but to really forgive and to move on is so much harder but it’s the most important part of the apology. Easier said than done comes to mind with this! However, I am learning that to really live my life I need to break down those walls and allow myself to be vulnerable, to trust, and to truly forgive. We all have the heavy and hard to forgive things that have happened to us in our lives and while some things are easier than others to forgive we must learn to do it. We don’t realize that when we don’t truly forgive and we allow ourselves to live behind that wall, we are not really living the life we are meant to. We are allowing that hurt we hold to be a part of that wall of protection we built and as such it stays with us until we find a way to break down the walls. I am learning that forgiveness can be such an important thing not just for the other person but for ourselves. When we really forgiving someone else we are not giving them back the power to hurt us again but giving ourselves the power to live the life we are meant to!
While forgiving others is a huge part of that wall we built, we also need to learn to forgive ourselves. I feel that on some level forgiving myself is harder than forgiving the heavy hitting offenders in my life that helped to build that wall I put up. This is still a work in progress for me and while I have gained more knowledge about forgiving others I am still learning a lot about self forgiveness. This is a goal I have for myself this year to really push through those barriers and have more understanding of forgiveness of myself. I feel that some of the stress and illness we deal with in our lives can be helped if we better understand how our emotions can affect our bodies. Holding on to resentment, anger, or disappointment can create more stress on our bodies than we realize and in turn make us sick. This is one of the reasons
I am hoping that even though I can’t provide much information on forgiving your self right now that you still can gain something from today’s blog. Being able to forgive others is just one step we need to take on our journey. I have learned to look at the things that are or were not good in my life as lessons and if they had not happened I would not be the person I am today. So even though it may sound a little crazy to some people I am grateful each day for those things that have made me build my wall because I would not be where or who I am with out them! I will definitely be writing something about forgiving yourself in the future once I have gained a little more knowledge on it.
Wishing you Love, Peace, and Balance!